Safety blog · Dating safety
First Date Safety Tips: A Self-Defense Instructor's Checklist
By Troy Logan, founder of Strike First Fitness and Krav Maga Gold Certified instructor
· 5 min read
A first date should feel exciting. You're meeting someone new, and you don't know yet where it's going. That's the fun part.
But that's also the risk. Until you meet in person, you only know what someone has chosen to show you. After nearly 30 years of teaching self-defense, the advice I give students about dating isn't about fighting. It's about planning, so you stay in control of where you are, who knows about it and how you leave.
Here's the checklist I teach. It works whether you're a man or a woman, and whoever you're meeting.
Before the date
Confirm they're real. A short video call before you meet is the easiest way to know the person matches the profile. If they keep finding reasons not to, that tells you something.
Do a little research. Search their name and run their photos through a reverse image search. You're not looking for a perfect record, just for details that don't add up.
Keep your details private. Your home address, your workplace and your daily routine can wait until you know someone.
Pick the place yourself. Choose somewhere public and busy that you know: a coffee shop, a restaurant with staff around. Keep the first meeting short. Coffee or one drink, not a whole evening.
Own your ride. Drive yourself, take a rideshare or use transit. Don't accept a pickup from someone you haven't met. Your transportation is your exit.
Tell someone. Pick one trusted person and give them the plan: who, where, and when you expect to be done. Agree on a check-in time and what they'll do if they don't hear from you.
During the date
Sit where you can see. I tell students to sit where they can see the door and the room. It's a habit, not paranoia.
Watch your drink. Watch it being made, keep it with you, and if you leave it, order a new one.
Decide your limits ahead of time. How much you'll drink, how long you'll stay, and whether you're open to a second location. Decisions are easier before the date than during it.
Check in on time. A quick text to your trusted person at the time you agreed.
Trust your gut. You don't need proof something is wrong to end a date. "I'm going to head out" is a complete sentence.
Warning signs to take seriously
- Pushing you to drink more, change venues or go somewhere private
- Ignoring a "no," even about something small
- Getting angry or guilt-tripping when you set a limit
- Stories that change, or someone who looks different from their photos
One of these alone doesn't make someone dangerous. But it's enough reason to leave.
How to leave a date that feels wrong
Leaving early is always the right call. Excuse yourself and ask a staff member for help. They can walk you out or call you a ride. A call or text from your trusted contact gives you an easy exit. Stay where there are people, and don't step outside alone with your date.
If you ever feel threatened, call 911. Move toward light, people and staff. Your goal is to get away, not to win a fight.
After the date
Get home on your own, and text your trusted person that you're safe. Don't let a new date follow you home or see where you park. If anyone makes you feel unsafe, block and report them on the dating app.
If something happened, you don't have to handle it alone. RAINN (1-800-656-4673) and the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) offer free, confidential support 24 hours a day.
Put your plan in your pocket
I built Strike First Guardian to make this plan easier. Before the date, start a live location share so your trusted person can follow along. Set a safety timer for when the date should end: if you don't check in, your contacts are texted automatically. And if you need a way out, a believable fake call is one tap away. The safety timer and fake calls are part of Premium; live location and SOS are free.
No app can guarantee your safety. A good plan, good instincts and someone who knows where you are go a long way.
This article shares general safety practices and is not a guarantee of safety or a substitute for in-person training. Strike First Guardian is not an emergency service. In an emergency, call 911.